Social Connection in the Digital Age: Nurturing Meaningful Relationships Online and Offline

The Double-Edged Sword of Digital Connection:

How do you feel about the digital age in which we live? Are you addicted to your phone? This isn’t a test, and it’s not meant to shame you. Most people can probably say they are addicted to their phone. I think I am. My phone is with me everywhere I go, including from room to room within my home.

Some advantages I see in my life. I am able to stay in touch with more people and keep up on their lives through social media interactions.  Disadvantages include endless scrolling that wastes time. It’s also an entertainment center. In the grocery store yesterday, I found myself in a long line so took my phone out and began scrolling. Then the thought occurred to me, I am in the middle of a whole bunch of people. Why do I feel the need to entertain myself? Shouldn’t I be aware of my surroundings? Yes! I put the phone away. I do not want to be distracted from real life.

The Importance of Presence: Being present online or offline is important for our relationships and well-being. Multi-tasking sends a message to the person you’re with that they are not that important to you in the moment. Plus, multi-tasking is over-rated. In my neuro studies, I’ve learned the multi-tasking simply means you are not giving your best to any of the things you are doing. It’s better to singular task!

Balancing Screen Time with Face-to-Face Time: Have you heard of setting digital boundaries? This could be setting a max amount of pleasure screen time for yourself or it could mean putting your phone away when you’re face to face with someone. This includes turning off notifications that distract you or cause you to “have” to look at your phone (or watch) to see what or who it is. Yes, we are all guilty of this. Again, no shame! Just a reminder to us all (myself included) to do better.

Quality vs. Quantity: Meaningful connections like deeper conversations trump constant, surface-level engagement. Do you want more meaningful interactions in your life? Relationship building requires effort and doesn’t typically happen without both parties seeking it. These relationships can happen online so I’m not saying to put your phone or computer away, but simply to be intentional about investing in relationships.

Tips for Mindful Online Engagement: We must be aware of the platforms we support with our time. Do they support authentic connection? Do they uplift you? If not, you can unfollow. Just like in real life, removing things or people that drag us down or are not supportive.

“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  Philippians 4:8

The Role of Digital Detox: There is no rule against a digital detox. In fact, unplugging periodically and reconnection with yourself and others in the offline world can be super healthy. Can you do it? Do you want to?  In the spirit of full transparency, I’ve done this when backpacking and not totally by choice but because I didn’t have service. Several days without service can lead to wondering what I’m missing. Invariably, when I get back to service and look at my phone, I am always surprised nothing really has changed and I did not miss anything! My phone is full of unimportant notifications. Now to clean up my notifications. Haha!

Optimizing Digital Tools for Connection: 2020 showed us the power of connection when we were thrust into no longer having connection as we knew it and isolating ourselves. The Zoom platform for video calls gained huge popularity and actually changed the way we do things now. My point is, video calls can enhance our relationships! Another example from my life – when I was preparing for my national board exam (health & wellness coach), I was in a study group of 8 other coaches. The exam was no joke and we all studied together online several times a week for many hours. Through this, we became friends and remain colleagues who are meeting in person whenever possible. My life is blessed by these relationships across the country!

Building Real-World Relationships: Cultivating offline connections in my community is important too.  Again, it takes effort and intention. There are many ways to do this, some of the things I do include, ladies bible study, home group, being in community with my neighbors, inviting friends to do things. Hiking with organized groups or any other activities. Meetup is a free source (online! Haha) that posts events that meet in person.

Call to Action: I encourage you to reflect on your own digital habits, set boundaries as necessary and be intentional in your online and in-person interactions. Community is important to health and there are so many ways to build and maintain your community.

In love and health!

Terri

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